Thanks...a year later.

Today is the one year anniversary of my mom's wreck. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. When it happened and the doctors were giving us the run down of how long things would take I had no idea how we would make it through the first month let alone a year. But here we are. The days were so long and such a struggle.
I am so proud of my mom. She has come so far. She was in the ICU for exactly a month and then on the therapy floor for exactly a month. She must be a fan of the number 18. In the last month at the hospital she relearned how to walk, read, cook, dress, shower, brush her teeth and hair, basically everything. But she didn't just have to learn how to do them again she had to learn why we do them. She was so childlike.
She is so much more than the doctors ever gave us hope for. I am so grateful for the opportunity Heavenly Father has given us to have her here with us longer. My mom is a true miracle. She still has many problems as a result of the accident and every day is an incredible struggle for her. Her frontal lobe was damaged so severly. Her emotions are raw and uncontrolable. Depression is a huge problem. Her doctors are still trying to figure out the right combinations of meds to help her with that. Her body is in pain everyday and doing things like mow the lawn kicks her in the pants.
She is also different than the mom we knew before. In a sense my mom did pass away. She is still her with us but the person she was is gone. That is the hardest struggle I think my mom has now. She knows she is different and she misses herself. It is so hard for me too. We have had to grieve for the lose of the person we knew and learn about the new person we have with us and except that there are some things that will never be the same. I miss my happy go lucky mom. She was always laughing and joking. Always on the move. But...she is here to see her grandkids grow and to give me the love and support that only your mom can give you. And for those two things I will be eternally grateful. She LoVeS her grandkids, they are her life. That was the hardest thing for me when we didn't know if she would live. I was sad that my kids would never have the chance to know her.
My brothers and I were given so much love and support from everyone around us. I will forever be indebted to those of you who were there for us. Whether in person or in thought. I cried ALOT for a LONG time. Thank you for listening to me. The nursing staff took such good care of my mom and of us. The were never annoyed by the never ending questions. Which were usually the same ones over and over...like "is that good or bad." We were called monitor watchers lots of times. The doctors she had were top notch. We were all completely impressed with the time they took with us. Always making sure we knew our options and trying to answer the unanswerable. I believe they have the hardest and most rewarding job there is. They are worth every penny.
My mom's siblings are the most amazing, loving people I have ever met. They were at the hospital night and day with us. And often told us to go home so we could have some time to recoup. They went to all the meetings and helped us make all the hard decisions. I am so blessed to have them.
It is so hard for me to even think of those times. The things I learned and experienced were life altering. Although I would give anything in the world for my mom to not of had to go through this I am thankful for the experiences I was given. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Heavenly Father exists and is aware of our needs. I am grateful for my faith and my religion. I don't know why my mom was blessed to be able to recover but I am amazed and so incredibly grateful. She is wonderful. I love you momma.
I am not sure when these pics were taken but from the looks of them they were probably about 10-14 days after her accident. I never took any pics of her because if she passed away I didn't want to remember her this way. My aunt took these and since I never posted any while we were going through it I thought I would share some now. I wanted to get a pic of my mom today and post it but I coudn't ever pin her down. If you look at the top pic there is a bump on the top of her head (where it is shaved) that is where she had the ICP monitor put into her brain to monitor the pressure. So on top of everything else she had going in and out of her she also had an antenna coming out the top or her head with a bolt screwed down on it. Modern medicine is unbelievable! Even though her eyes are open she was not there yet. It took her a long time to get back to the world we all live in. Man I hate looking at these pictures!